Red Gerard’s Secrets to Gold

We’ve got our first medal of the games and it’s a gold (duh, because we’re awesome). He is a snowboarder and shredded a lot of gnar on his second run and is now an Olympic Gold medalist. But let’s take a closer look at his final run to see what secrets to success we can find.

Hugs

He gave all his coach/support crew/random bro entourage hugs before his final run. Nothing like hugging it out to calm the jitters and nerves (that’s a screenshot, sorry, you can’t hit the arrow to resume).

Winter Themed Camo over Comfy and Stylish Sweaters

I think we can all admit that Canada’s sweaters are legit. I would rock that all the time. But if we look at the podium wih USA on the top and Canada taking silver and bronze I think we can safely say that the sweaters aren’t gold medal worthy. Do you know what is? Winter themed camo. Canada came ready for the lodge and drinking spiked hot chocolate. USA came ready to snowboard down that hill like North Korea was invading and we needed to blend in with the natural environment. And it did the trick.

It was “Time to get Gerarded”

If you noticed the sign from his fan section, it was actually “Time to get Gerarded”. Unclear exactly what that means but I imagine it would have been hard for anyone else to win when it was actually “Gerarded” time. I think the rules are if you show up with the sign first you claim the time for your designated competitor so just another case of the early bird getting the worm.

So there you have it. His keys to success (and probably being only 17 and having zero fear and a body that can instantly bounce back when he doesn’t land all of his insane jumps perfectly).

Also, a few questions for the ceremony:

-Has a 17-year-old snowboarding bro ever been this excited for a stuffed animal before?

-Why does the stuffed animal have such an elaborate carrying case?

-Why don’t the stuffed animals increase in size for the podium finish? Red should have a giant carnival prize sized stuffed animal that he can swing around the podium and “accidentally” hit the silver and bronze medalists in the face with.