I know I didn’t cover any of this last week and the last individual apparatus final just ended. It has been a wild ride. I’m not going to try to tell all the stories. The women’s team has been on an emotional rollercoaster but Suni Lee is leaving Tokyo an absolute star and ultimate Rise-To-The-Occasion-Er. MyKayla Skinner coming in clutch and taking full advantage of an opportunity she didn’t think she would get. Jade Carey showing how to shake it off and coming back strong for gold on the floor. And Simone, coming back in at the very end for what might be her last Olympic medal. The US men were also fun to watch. I’m honestly not sure if they were expected to win any medals but Sam Mikulak’s enthusiasm is gold in my book.
What I am going to do though is rank all the events within gymnastics based on no consistent criteria. Here we go.
#8 – Parallel Bars
The only time this has ever been exciting was when Danell Leyva stripped during the “Gala” performances in Rio. I feel like this was a staple at playgrounds growing up before they all started getting rock walls but it’s staying at the bottom for lack of excitement, lack of height/thrill in performances and lower pure strength compared to some of the other men’s events.
#7 – High Bar
This isn’t last because of height and thrill points but it just seems like a less interesting version of uneven bars. Maybe this should be combined with parallel bars so the guys have to go back and forth between 3 different bars?
#6 – Balance Beam
I get that this takes extreme amounts of balance and skill but does anyone really like watching it that much? You are kind of just waiting for someone to fall. They throw in a lot of “artistic” hand movements that look awkward half the time. It’s just kind of bleh for me.
#5 – Rings
This one is really hard to place because some of the individual moves they do are amazing feats of strength but the routines are so short and kind of boring. I do wonder if this would be the first to go though if the actual men’s gymnastic athletes had to play survivor with all the apparatus. I can’t picture anyone thinking “can’t wait to do rings next after my arms are already exhausted’.
#4 – Uneven Bars
Does anyone else immediately picture a black and white clip of the uneven bars and an athlete from back in the day kind of just going back and forth? It plays in repeat in my head. But this made it to #4 because I feel like the athletes have advanced the excitement of this event a lot, especially this year. I had a lot of “whoa” moments while watching some of the ways they combine skills and make catching the bar so easy.
#3 – Pommel Horse
This is probably going to be my most controversial ranking but for some reason I watched a lot of pommel this year and started appreciating it so much more. Maybe they are going faster or their approach has changed but I’m all in. I know it’s arguably the weirdest of all the events and a holdover from a different era when more people needed to practice riding horses, just like Modern Pentathlon. But let’s all give Pommel Horse another chance.
#2 – Vault
I went back and forth about the final two rankings. I love watching vault. The fact they are sprinting full speed at this large immovable object is just ridiculous to me. The reason it is not #1 is the fact that many athletes seem to be doing the same vaults and watching the competition gets a little repetitive. But when they stick the landing it’s amazing.
#1 – Floor
I feel like tumbling passes have become the biggest “how did they do that” moments from gymnastics. They are going higher, doing more twists, doing more turns, doing more flips. The women get to dance to music. The men get to take awkwardly large steps between locations on the mat as their transitions. It’s also the simplest of all the events, just a slightly bouncy floor, but they make it one of the most exciting.
(I’m not sure if trampoline should be in these rankings as well or if that would be an insult to all the athletes above. Do you get relegated to trampoline if you aren’t good enough for artistic gymnastics? Get called into the coaches office, hear “have you ever thought about trampoline” and go quietly to clean out your locker.)
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