For all your extremely amateur coverage of the Olympics, mediocre attempts at being witty and original takes, overuse of GIFs and Memes & other random thoughts (and probably some handsome Olympians along the way).
And the first medalist of the United States in 2022 is…..JULIA MARINO with a silver medal in snowboarding slopestyle. You can watch the full replay here.
The crazy part is that of the 3 American women in this competition Julia was the least talked about. Jamie Anderson was the twice reigning champ and an obvious medal frontrunner. The third American, Hailey Langland, was attempting a redemption story after a disappointing 2018 Olympics and is dating men’s slopestyle’s reigning gold medalist Red Gerard.
But Julia had an amazing second run of three and is bringing home the hardware and has the exciting honor of being the first medalist for the United States in the 2022 Olympics!
This is incredibly fitting because the US ladies brought home more medals than the US men in 2018 for the first time in 20 years (which has long been the trend in the summer Olympics).
Also, the gold medalist, Zoi Sadowski-Synnott from New Zealand, won her country’s first Winter Olympic gold medal EVER. An exciting and rewarding contest all around.
While this is still round-robin play, this is a pretty important match because the USA is currently in fifth and there are only three more matches before the top four teams move on to the semifinals. Czech is currently seventh so getting a win here would help keep us in contention for the medal rounds.
The USA Team: Vicky Persinger & Chris Plys
Instead of giving you any useful background information about either of them I’m going to share an Instagram post of them with an animal.
I didn’t know the Czech team was a married couple. I wonder if that actually makes much of a positive difference in a sport like curling where you take turns and can talk in between “plays”. I guess one could more easily call out the other if they are claiming they can make a shot that they actually always miss. “Are you going to make that shot just like you make the bed every morning? Didn’t think so.”
As a very novice curler myself, it is ridiculous to see some of the shots they are able to make with ease. When I throw a rock I still have to use a plastic handle thing for balance, the equivalent of training wheels for curling. They are 73% accuracy, I am probably 25%.
this is what I look like curling
Not loving they left the door open for Czech to score 5….I guess the fact it’s only 3-1 after 2 ends isn’t that bad overall but we aren’t looking too sharp right now. The announcer definitely called out Chris pretty hard by saying he had the lowest accuracy of all guys in the tournament. Not a great stat to have.
Ok, I feel a lot better now they followed that last end with 3 themselves to return to the lead. I’m also loving their teamwork and how supportive they are of each other…should they also be a married, curling couple/team?
Remember the Russian married mixed doubles team that got a medal in 2018 and then got caught doping…still cracks me up.
Does doping help with moves like this?
TIED GAME…this is getting very exciting. I was worried with some of the high scoring ends it was going to get out of hand. But I’m also watching this on the Peacock app so I’ve seen the commercial for JLo and Owen Wilson’s “Marry Me” ten times and the more I watch the preview the more I think there is no way they would ever fall in love…unlike curlers.
“GHASTLY ERROR”….I’ve thrown rocks past the house SO. MANY. TIMES. That makes me feel a lot better. Like when you see someone playing golf on TV shank it.
Unfortunately, it does seem like the Power Play is what doomed them this match and possibly the tournament as a whole. There’s still a chance if they win their final two matches and some other pieces fall into place. We’ll see what happens!
That’s So…not great that they lost this match for their overall chances of making the semifinals
I know there are A LOT of thoughts on these opening ceremonies. The games have a long history of being political but these ceremonies, and their coverage, felt the most influenced by current and impending world events since I’ve been alive.
I’m not going to pretend that I’m even remotely knowledgeable enough to comment on a lot of what happened during the ceremonies last night. But I did have 1 very important takeaway….
MY NEW LIFE GOAL IS TO BECOME ONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT DANCES FOR TWO HOURS DURING THE PARADE OF NATIONS
I don’t have the upper body strength to hold a snowflake above my head for two hours but I think I could joyfully dance for two hours to usher in all the Olympians. They had a few synchronized routines but most of what they do is “solo dancing in the corner of the room.” I spent four years of college perfecting that.
Here are some examples if you look in the background:
LA2028 is only 6 years away so I should probably start training now. Maybe it will be the start of a love story if someone sees my dance moves and is very impressed.
In the meantime, if you see me walking down the street like this, you’ll know what I’m working towards!
“Bing” means ice and “Dwen Dwen” represents children in Mandarin. He is obviously a panda, no surprise there, but the big twist is he’s got a magical ice space suit? If you watch the video on the official mascot page, he does in fact go into space and high-fives an astronaut. Maybe it’s a secret dream of all pandas? I’d rate him a 6.5/10. He’s no kung-fu panda but he’ll do.
BUT, I think they had trouble translating him into costume for events. He looks like he’s wearing multiple hoodies…and took many things at a music festival and is being escorted to the medical tent, just to be safe.
Medals – “Tong Xin” meaning “Together as One”
The Olympic medals are inspired by Jade pendants from ancient China. There is a lot of subtle symbolism built-in, like five rings on the front for the Olympic rings. I’m actually going to give these an 8.5/10 because I had a couple of “ancient Asian coins” as a kid that I thought were the coolest. So I fully acknowledge this rating is purely based on personal nostalgia. The sorcerer in my Playmobile castle used those coins to trade for more beakers for potions all the time.
Paralympic Mascot – Shuey Rhon Rhon
Saving the best for last, Shuey Rhon Rhon.
The name itself, Shuey Rhon Rhon is very fun to say out loud.
Shuey Rhon Rhon is an anthropomorphic Chinese lantern. Lanterns represent harvest, celebration, warmth and light. Who doesn’t love all those things? Especially a good harvest!
Even though Shuey Rhon Rhon is a lantern so can fly and likes snowboarding he seems very grounded and wants to make our world a better place. He’s not trying to visit space for funsies like some celebrities and billionares and a certain Panda are doing…..
It feels like we just wrapped the summer Olympics but here we are, only a few days away from the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing! Here’s my take on the top 5 countries predicted to be on top of the medal table by the end of the games.
The Dominant Frontrunner – NORWAY
Land of Fjords and Vikings, Magical Skies, Lakes & Trolls
Norway is predicted to go absolutely BUCKWILD and get more than 40 medals, mostly from ski sports. Which would best their 39 medals from 2018, the best ever by a single country in the winter Olympics. Everything I’ve read is saying there is no chance any other country gets close.
It’s very important for us not to go to Beijing as a team and start to count medals. That’s not the point. The point is to have good performances and have fun and be friends and if we achieve that, we have an experience that also means a lot of medals.
Tore Øvrebø, director of elite sport for Oslo-based Olympiatoppen
Royer’s Norway Prediction: 43 Medals, 21 Gold
It’s on my bucket list to visit and USA and Norway don’t have a lot of overlap in medal prospects so I will probably be rooting pretty hard for Norway, especially when they are racing for medals against the country coming up next….
First Loser – RUSSIAN OLYMPIC COMMITTEE
Land of bears on unicycles hiding in nesting dolls?
Russia is still banned from the Olympics for state-sponsored doping until the end of 2022 so will be competing as the “Russian Olympic Committee” under the Olympic flag once again. That, plus general world events, and we have ourselves a bonafide nemesis for these games. I’ll give the athletes who are competing in these games a fresh slate, I’m sure I’ll like some of them individually, but that doesn’t mean I don’t hope the overall prediction of ROC getting the second most medals is wrong.
Royer’s ROC Prediction: 29 Medals, 12 Gold
Their country is a giant frozen desolate depressing tundra so it kind of makes sense they are going to rack up some medals competing in a terrain they know best.
Bronze Medalist of Medals – GERMANY
Land of Beer & Bratwurst, Christmas Markets, Oktoberfest & Pretzels
Germany is always a safe bet for being near the top of the medal table. After a surprising 6th in 2014, they came back strong in 2018 to finish 2nd. I think they are going to have a successful Olympics in Beijing but unfortunately, it seems very unlikely they will be able to catch ROC in overall medals. I am hoping they get more golds at least.
Germany’s challenge is they excel in some sports that have limited opportunities for medals. Germany is good at luge and bobsled that combined have only 8 podiums. Cross country skiing, one of Norway’s best sports, has 12. But both countries are good at biathlon though, which has 11 opportunities for medals so if Germany can pull some upsets there, they have a chance of keeping close to ROC.
Royer’s Germany Prediction: 27 Medals, 14 Gold
And the more German Olympic medalists there are, the most likely a chance I will run into one and become friends with them and get pictures with their medal when I finally make my Germany trip happen.
Rock, Flag and Fourth – USA
Land of…..umm, just going to focus on the athletes and teams from the USA at the moment.
We are possibly in a smidge of a slump right now for winter Olympic medals. We peaked in 2010 with 37 but went down to 23 in 2018, the lowest amount in 20 years. Betting odds for this year aren’t much better and the storyline is battling it out with Canada for fourth place.
Snowboarding is our most dominant sport, we always do well in figure skating and women’s hockey, we’ve got some very strong female speed skaters and some great skiers. I’ll get into individual athletes and teams that I’m excited about later this week but overall I’m going to be optimistic that we defy some odds and end up firmly in fourth.
Royer’s USA Prediction: 25 Medals, 9 Gold
We have a very strong history of getting 9 gold medals at the Olympics and I think we’ll continue that but sneak in some more bronze and silvers than expected.
Pitter Patter, let’s get at her: CANADA
Land of Maple Syrup & Moose, Hockey, Poutine & Drake.
Canada, our friendly and polite neighbors to the north. They’ve been on a little bit of a tear the last 4 Olympics scoring 25+ medals. Besides the obvious sports of hockey and curling, they also have come to dominate freestyle skiing, the counterpart to snowboard.
Royer’s Canada Prediction: 24 Medals, 9 Golds
They aren’t predicted to have a stellar Olympics but I hope they do a little better than predicted, but just not quite as good as the USA.
These are my 4 favorite female track athletes of the US team and it was amazing to see them on the same relay team. Allyson Felix has been a leader and inspiration for decades. Athing Mu and Sydney McLaughlin are just starting their careers and hopefully, stars for years to come. And Delilah is a former world record holder and champion who has pushed Sydney to become a champion. Sydney and Delilah have run the 4×400 before in the finals of world championships but when I saw Athing was joining and Allyson was going for her 11th medal I did a fist pump….so amazing to watch.
Women’s Volleyball Get’s 1st Gold
For some reason I feel like with volleyball, you really start to pretend you know the athletes personally after watching a few matches. And I watched at least 5 of the US women’s volleyball matches so I basically think they are my best friends now. So I’m naturally incredibly happy they won the US’s first ever gold medal in women’s volleyball. Especially since we’ve gotten so close in the past few Olympics, it was time.
Mongolia’s Medals
I always track Mongolia’s success in the Olympics. Not their best Olympics but not bad either. Some new heroes going home to Mongolia!
Final Medal Table
I was fully prepared a few days ago to write how the overall number of medals is more important than the number of gold medals but here we are, the top of both so I’m just going to say….
It’s always such mixed emotions by the time of the closing ceremonies. I stayed up until 3 in the morning watching volleyball so I’m exhausted and have been watching as much Olympics as humanly possible while not getting fired the past week. So there is always some relief/acknowledgment that all good things come to an end…so here we go!
(I caught Tara being extra sassy, haha)
Johnny Weir coming in HOT, I think his hair is supposed to be the cauldron….he lived down my street growing up, NBD.
Thank you Jonas brothers for reminding us “We are going to want to remember this”…..no shit? But will be stuck in my head for days.
Wait, they are making javelin athlete carrying the US flag talk on live television while walking with the flag in a crazy parade….let’s keep it simple NBC, just let her march and not hit anyone with it. At least they aren’t making 2 people carry it at once again….
As all the athletes walk out it sounds like they are entering a game show with this music choice….come on down!
CANADA WITH SOME AMAZING JEAN JACKETS. I hope those pockets are filled with the free condoms because we all know what happens at a Jarty.
It’s actually great to see all the US athletes having a BLAST during these closing ceremonies and pulling their masks down and celebrating what they’ve worked so hard for and sacrificed so much for. They deserve to do whatever they want right now.
But also, is something else going to happen or is it just going to be 2 hours of them wilding out on the field….I don’t hate it I guess.
This Ska Band and accompanying dancing and juggling is not really doing it for me….but if it’s meaningful to Japan, go for it. But do have to say it is probably one of the BIGGEST NIGHTS EVER FOR THE GUIRO, little known percussion instrument that gets almost no love, until now.
AND NOW THERE IS A BIKER GANG ROLLING IN!?!?
I’m guessing this woman/tree didn’t win a medal and is mourning her loss?
Did anyone else see the Ukraine dude in the background of the montage of athletes from various countries trying to learn the moves for the traditional Japanese dance? He wants no part in anything happening, like that one guy back in middle school that was “too cool” to do the macarena.
Wait, that dude actually played the saxophone in space? Was he allowed to bring his saxophone up there from the beginning? Is there really space for saxophones on the space station?
This party in Paris with the Olympians from these games is pretty awesome. If so many of the athletes had to leave Tokyo immediately after their events, might as well throw them a party at home!
YESS, I’m so happy The Rock is hyping up the Paralympic games. I’m going to blog them a bit and give them some much needed attention they never rightfully get.
I feel like this children’s song to represent the closing of the cauldron is a good ending to the games. It’s a little more subdued, it’s a little more somber, it’s leaving you wanting a little bit more. Kind of like the games as a whole. This isn’t a criticism of Tokyo necessarily, more the state of the world and NBC’s coverage of the games. Good+ but not Great.
I think the song they are playing now is a version of what played at the end of Ocean’s Eleven when they are looking at the fountain after pulling off the heist…pretty similar actually, they both accomplished the impossible.
These are top 5 events/sports I think I could be good at
Flatwater Kayak Racing
I’ve always really enjoyed kayaking and I can get some good speed going, especially if I actually trained. Also, my large posterior has to be helpful for stabilizing the kayak at top speeds, right?
Trap Shooting
I did this once at a bachelor party and I was pretty good by the end. I would get to yell “PULL” a lot and we all know I love a good vest. Seems like a win-win-win.
Badminton
We played a lot on vacation and I could see myself getting really into this sport. I love distance running but it’s naturally very even-paced and there are no consistent opportunities to fist pump and yell like there are in badminton…so putting it on the list.
Volleyball
Yes, I know I would look like a small child compared to the other players, height wise. BUT, there is the defensive specialist who wears the different color jersey and is always a little bit shorter. That could be my calling.
Water Polo
I’m a strong swimmer but full honesty, this….this would just be a ploy to find a husband. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This Jump-Off Had Everything: Horses with a higher net value than me, monkey statues, Bruce Springsteen’s Daughter, tiny bridges to nowhere, the oldest American woman to win an Olympic medal since 1904, a random Kimono sitting in the middle of a dirt field, Bruce Springsteen’s Daughter, horses dressed to impress, people in tiny coats and oversized boots, MTV’s Dan Cortese Bruce Springsteen’s Daughter.
Jessica Springsteen and Friends ended up losing the Jump Off but I’m still proud of their silver medal. You can watch it all here.
Mixed rhyme and reasons, almost at the end of the games, getting kind of sad.
Journaling while High Jumping
This is Nicola McDermott from Australia and she won silver in the high jump this morning. She journals after every single jump and I would pay money to know what she is writing. Big day for journaling. I’m guessing it’s technical notes but I really hope it has absolutely nothing to do with high jump. “Start looking around for a new medium size frying pan, I’m tired of omelets sticking to the one you got from Aunt Mildred” OR “yes, I do want to commit to watching the entire Marvel cinematic universe in chronological order, even Antman and the Wasp, you can do it Nicola” OR maybe she’s playing MASH with herself to find out what medal she is going to win, who she is going to marry and what pet she is going to have.
France Celebrating with the Can-can
France won a very exciting Gold Medal Match against Russia in men’s indoor volleyball. Right after they won the Can-can started playing and the team went into a celebration of the Can-can. It was very very French and kind of hilarious. I guess no one expected France to medal, they haven’t made it out of pool play for years so this was actually a very exciting moment for these tall and handsome men. Also the French Coach, Laurent Tillie, looks like he could give you some excellent, but hard to hear, advice while you sit at a café along a river.
Rising star and youngster Jakob Ingebrigtsen of Norway outsprinted slightly more seasoned Tim Cheruiyot of Kenya in the 1,500 to fulfill everyone’s desire for an exciting final. And then Tim gave Jakob a bracelet!! Big day for bracelets and friendship between competitors. Jakob is only 20 but Tim is only 25 so this rivalry is really only getting started. Jakob seems to be more of a single dangly earring guy so maybe we’ll see him gift one of those in the future!
RIBBON DANCING
I watched the last 20 minutes of the individual all-around competition and there was a lot of excitement and drama. There are twins from Russia that were supposed to dominate and one of them calls themselves a demon and the announcer even said at one point “can anyone break the Russian stranglehold on this event”. Very strong words for hula-hooping and ribbon dancing but here we are. Linoy Ashram from Israel was apparently the athlete to defeat the Russians with a ribbon dancing performance (skip to 175:30) to a techno version of the song that is played at every Bah Mitzvah ever. Now the head of the Russian IOC is demanding an inquiry into the judging of the entire event and is probably throwing people into the gulag already.
Royer's Olympic Blog 