Still doesn’t feel completely real until the opening ceremonies but the first night of full primetime coverage!

Breaking News: Walkie Talkies are trying to compete for Olympic medals now.

General Thoughts

-Russian athletes that win gold will stand on the podium to the Olympic anthem. Will they kinda sing/mumble the words to the Russian anthem and see if it fits? How pissed is Putin though?

Curling

-Update on our new favorite curling sibling duo, Matt & Becca! They lost to Canada earlier today (leaving them at 1-1) and are in the 7th end right now tied 3-3 against Switzerland. It’s getting a little dicey and the good shots aren’t flowing as freely. Fingers crossed they pull this one out.

-They didn’t. Not a good 8th end and we are down 2-1 as the favorited swiss team remains unbeaten. Tomorrow’s a new day.

Team Figure Skating

-Tara and Johnny looking a little more mature and subdued. Kinda hope they are just warming up for some legit antics later in the games.

-If you are wondering what Nathan Chen was dressed as when he predicted these games, it was Peter and the Wolf. I was thinking Gaston but I guess that works.

-Alright, not a good start for Nathan Chen or USA’s team competition. I’m hoping he can shake it off for his next skate and the rest of the team can also not let this set the mood for the rest of the competition.  His music choice was my favorite so far at least…

-Russian guy looks like he is about to go black swan all over this competition. Nope, doing a little more Natalie Portman while she was pulling out her nails.

–Alexa and Chris putting in some great work for the USA as the pairs skaters for the team competition (yeah yeah 69.75). Minus that one weird little trip. We all do it.

-I think someone needs to tell all the skaters to pick music that a middle schooler from 2002 wouldn’t listen to alone in their room after their boy/girlfriend of a week dumped them via written note passed from Becky during homeroom (looking at you Radford and Duhamel, neighbors to the north). Let’s pep it up a bit.

Since the Olympics have started (winter is becoming like summer and starting days in advance of the ceremonies) I think it is the perfect time to take a look back at Sochi with some of my favorite athletes, moments and memes from the games:

TJ Oshie

While there wasn’t a happy ending for the U.S. men’s team hockey team, there was a spectacular prelim match against Russia that gave us American Hero TJ Oshie. In a shootout, Oshie ended up taking 6 shots (5 consecutively) and netting 4 of them to give America the win while Putin was watching. Suck it Russia.

Meryl Davis & Charlie White

I inherited a bit of ice skating fever from Mama Royer so got a little wrapped up in Meryl & Charlie and their quest for an Olympic gold before retiring from ice dancing. They were one of the safest bets across all sports for an Olympic Gold for the USA and they did not disappoint. Probably because they dressed for motherfucking success.

 

Netherlands Long Track Speed Skaters Won Most of the Golds

Just like the US has track sprints and swimming, the Netherlands have long track speed skating and they crushed it. I’m traditionally the Netherlands in an ongoing Olympic bar game so I’m glad to support my fake teammates in one of their favorite sports. And their absolute dominance (8 of 12 gold medals) was quite impressive. And how can you not like the orange uniforms?

Alexandre Bilodeau celebrates with his brother

Moguls is one of the first events of the Olympics so in 2010 he had the honor to win Canada’s first gold medal. Alexandre came back to defend that medal in 2014 to become the first freestyle skier to defend a gold medal. He dedicated his win to his older brother with cerebral palsy who he said “is my real inspiration…he lives his dreams through me…he is my everyday inspiration.” Dreams do come true.

US Slopestyle Skiing Sweep

Joss Christensen, Gus Kenworthy & Nicholas Goepper gave the USA our third sweep of a winter Olympic podium ever in this freestyle (aka X-Games-esc) skiing discipline. And it gave Gus the start to fame so he could become the inspirational public gay sports bro that he is today.

 

 

Overall it wasn’t a bad showing for the USA (the list below is before Russia’s doping scandal and four revoked medals so take that for what it is). We usually get around 28 medals in the 3rd position and predictions are running about the same for 2018.

Oh, and let’s not forget the memes from 2014!!

 

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Ignore all the superbowl ads about the Olympics starting Thursday. Guess who is curling right fucking now?

The Hamilton Siblings and they are against Russia.

Live Updates Below:

-Matt Hamilton’s Mustache Game is a solid A+

-They looked good in the first end. Scored 3. Becca had a solid double knockout on her last stone.

-They do a lot of fun accents in between throws. Quote from Matt “That was like totally savage” in reference to Becca crushing her last stone to take 3.

-How would you even dope in curling? You never see an incredibly buff curler, don’t want to melt the ice too much I guess?

-Russia scored 2 in the second end. No major mistakes from the US, just could have done a couple shots a little better.

-The Russian curlers names are Anastasia & Alexander. Bartok better be in the rafters somewhere cheering them on.

-This is fascinating to watch because the US team are siblings and the Russian team are a married couple. Very different dynamics going on. Alexander just fucked up and touched the rock while sweeping…he’s going to be doing dishes for a long time.

-Totally forgot that there is such thing as a “hog-line violation” in curling…hehe

-USA is pulling ahead after the 5th end with a score of 7-2. Looking strong.

-Matt’s down. He has fallen sweeping tooo hard. Anastasia laughed, Matt’s not hurt. Back in the game.

-Matt & Becca for the 9-3 win. Solid start. Russia is one of the favorites as they are the 2016 world champions so I don’t think they should be counted out in anyway.

-Sidebar: get used to hearing “OAR” as the abbreviation for Olympic Athletes from Russia. I feel like the band OAR is going to get a boost from this somehow.

Instead of doing an in-depth prediction/analysis of each sport or the trials (because honestly, I didn’t watch all of them, my bad) I’m just going to throw out some random hopes, dreams and predictions for the games. And at the end, we’ll see how far off I actually was.

Hopes

-My boy Gus Kenworthy wins a gold medal.

–Nathan Chen not only lands all his quads, but actually invents the quint jump.

-Teenager Maame Biney has the race of her life and wins a bronze in the 500m short track speed skating.

-The lack of the NHL players combined with an “Olympic Athletes from Russia” team made up of mostly KHL players will create a bit of a 1980 vibe but allow some young fresh faces to start their careers in the spotlight on their way to a bronze medal.

-At least one ice skater will take full advantage of the new policy to skate to music with lyrics and wildcard Cardi B’s “Bodack Yellow”.

Dreams

-DalyNitro duo Steve Langton and John Daly both receive gold medals and celebrate by continuing DalyNitro (and maybe putting some PG-13 nudity in).

-The first ever mixed-doubles U.S.A. curling team of siblings Matt & Becca Hamilton from Wisconsin have a rocky start when Becca finds out that Matt did actually break her Ice Fishing Barbie back in second grade. But they recover and win a bronze.

-The Olympic Spirit of coming together with your fellow man for the goal of athletic peak performance starts to legitimately ease the tension between North Korea and the world (this one’s a legit dream, world peace y’all).

-Leather gloves that Sully from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman would wear will make a comeback after the opening ceremonies.

Predictions (you can hold me accountable on these)

-Mikaela Shiffrin and Lindsey Vonn combine for 4 medals including 2 golds.

-Biathlete Lowell Bailey will finish in the top 5 getting the best finish ever by an American in the sport but not receive that elusive medal.

-Women’s Hockey gold medal match is the U.S. and Canada in a highly competitive showdown that comes down to a single goal and the U.S. takes home the gold.

-Germany and Norway battle it out for the most medals (in the void of Russia) with Norway eventually sitting atop the medal count.

-The Netherlands will continue to dominate in speed skating and while they won’t match their 24 medals from 2014, they will win at least 18.

-2016 opening ceremony star Pita Taufatofua, who is now a cross-country skier, will manage to somehow take his shirt off during the winter Olympics to keep his reputation strong.

-Men’s Double Luge will continue to be a baffling sport.

Let the failed predictions begin!

 

So a little gem I found last Olympics was Daly Nitro, a youtube series from U.S. bobsledder Steve Langton and Skeleton athlete John Daly. It followed the daily life of Olympic athletes when they are in peak training (and also had a lot of free time on their hands). There were some decent jokes and schitcks (and some pretty bad ones but they tried hard). And they are handsome and took their shirts off a decent amount so I might have subscribed to their channel. Youtube 4 years ago was just the start of me following U.S. Bobsled & Skeleton athletes on social media and I highly recommend doing the same.

John Daly spends a lot of time on his hair and is a big fan of stories and filters:

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bea3MXRnsvx/?taken-by=johndalyusa

You get to see some of their training facilities and practice routines from guys like Evan Weinstock:

Or some insane workout videos from Steve Langton to see what a bobsled push athlete actually does on a regular basis (hint: it’s all weights and sprints):

Because, like in Cool Runnings, so many of these guys are college track athletes that specialized in sprints and jumps and clearly love to get swole and do wind sprints. Now they just do it on the ice and fulfill their Need for Speed. So if you need a little more Bobsled & Skeleton in your life (and guys in spandex) I suggest finding some of them and giving them a follow.

P.S. Olympic Bobsledder Kai Kun just liked three of my photos on Instagram. F* YEAH. (I don’t care if it was clickbait to follow him for sponsorship purposes, I’m still excited and bragging about this one the whole games).

I think one of the reasons I’ve always loved the Olympics are the iconic moments. Overcoming personal tragedy and obstacles, coming back from the brink of defeat, bringing athletes together from competing countries for an epic showdown of patriotism and peak athletic performance.

I haven’t been around for a lot of Olympic games but I’ve read some books and seen some movies and news clips and below are some of the best feel-good historic moments in winter Olympic history that I wish I experienced live:

Miracle on Ice

Arguably the best Olympic moment ever. There was a clash of world powers. There was a group of misfit college athletes divided by their undergrad rivalry that came together under the unique personality of a coach given an impossible task. There were the unbeatable “bad guys” of the Soviet national team that had advantages from a state-run program compared to many traditional amateur athletes of the time. And of course, there was an anti-climatic Gold Medal match after everyone had already declared the US the winners of the Olympics (Remember that part? The U.S. beat the Soviets in the semifinals. It wasn’t even a gold medal match. But it also shows how much of an underdog we were not to face the Soviets in the finals).

Eric Heiden wins 5 gold medals

Eric Heiden is the Michael Phelps/Michael Johnson of Speed Skating. He was able to win multiple races in one Olympics across distances that are typically not tackled by a single athlete. He absolutely dominated the 1980 Olympics with 5 gold medals from the 500 to 10,000. He single-handly won more golds at those Olympics than all countries except USSR and East Germany. He seemed like a humble and down to earth guy as well. He had already won 4 gold medals, supported his teammates by watching the Miracle on Ice and the next day got a world record by 6 seconds in his final race. He saw his countrymates do the impossible and he did the same. And just look at that goofy smile. Pretty sure he was an extra on Dazed and Confused and loved every moment of it.

Jamaican Bobsled Team

We’ve all seen the movie so I don’t need to go into details (will be writing a separate blog about Winter Olympic movies). But this is one of those fantastic stories about the world supporting the underdogs and a group of guys just trying to live out their Olympic dreams. Not every country has the infrastructure or resources to support all of their athletes.  You often hear Bob Costas during the opening ceremonies say how that moment will be the biggest crowd and most support many of the athletes will experience the entire games. Many competitors are eliminated in a qualifying round at 9:00am to a live audience of coaches and digital audience of NBC subscribers from the other side of the globe that couldn’t sleep. The Jamaican Bobsled team got some extra love and support from across the world in a unique showing of support for following your dreams, no matter how high the odds are stacked against you.

Dan Jansen’s Quest for Gold

Dan is a hometown speedskater from Wisconsin that rose to world prominence right before the 1988 Olympic games and was favorited to win the 500 and 1,000. His sister, whom he was very close with, passed away from Leukemia shortly before his first race and he left the games without any medals after falling in the prelims for both races. The 1992 games were no kinder, but because of the switch to separate Winter and Summer Olympics, he was given a last chance in the 1994 Lillehammer games. After a disappointing finish in the 500, he won a surprise gold in the 1,000 and finally received the gold medal he rightfully deserved. He did a victory lap with his daughter, who he named after his sister. (I’m not crying, you’re crying).

 

So here’s to hoping we see some more iconic moments in Pyeongchang this year!

Hi, my name is Andrew Royer and I’m an above average Olympic enthusiastic. I have traditionally scrapbooked the Olympics in old-school paper form but my love of GIFs made me want to upgrade to the interweb. I guest blogged the London Olympics and am now ready to dive-in on my own. So here we are.

If you are wondering why I’m so interested in the Olympics here are a few reasons:

• Professor Bloy circa Gettysburg College fall 2005. Thank you for creating a freshman seminar about The Olympics. You brought fellow Olympic enthusiasts together (you know who you are) and created an intellectually stimulating environment to discuss how the Olympics (ancient and modern) have reflected and influenced society, political events and the pursuit of athletic perfection. You also helped my creativity by creating the “draw shapes with a certain amount of sides” game on a regular basis to pass time.
• A.C. Moore for providing scrapbooking materials to enable my hobby.
• Some of my graduate school classmates for our trip to Lake Placid as “Spring Break” in 2011. We did the bobsled and skeleton, went to the top of the Ski Jump, saluted the flags atop the podium and explored the history of both Lake Placid Olympic games at the museum. It was a delightful trip and reinvigorated my love of the Olympics.
• My friends, family & coworkers for putting up with me constantly talking about and watching the Olympics for a large chunk of my life.
• And anyone that has ever played any sort of Olympic trivia, drinking game or other Olympic themed activity. Let’s keep that enthusiasm going all year, every year.

So buckle up and get ready for some Olympic fun. But don’t expect extensive coverage of every single event and Olympic happening. This is more going to be a blog of what interests me, lists of things, obscure Olympic facts and anything else that floats my boat.

Enjoy!